So many people are a fan of the character Ron Swanson in the comedy TV-series ‘Parks and Recreation’. Today we are going to share the Funniest Ron Swanson Quotes. I hope you will like our collections.
Before reading Ron Swanson Quotes it is very important to know about him. Ron Swanson is a fictional character portrayed by Nick Offerman in the comedy TV-series ‘Parks and Recreation’. This TV series has six seasons. Ron has an extremely deadpan and stereotypical masculine personality who loves meat, woodworking, hunting, whiskey, nautical literature, and sex. Many aspects of Ron’s character are based on Nick Offerman in real life. In 2011, Nick Offerman won ‘Primetime Emmy Awards’ for portraying the character of Ron Swanson.
Ron Swanson Quotes
It is obvious that you are a fan of Ron’s character and that is why you are here. Every funny conversations and statement of Ron is funny and quotable. If you are going through a bad day then read our collections of Ron Swanson Quotes to bring some fun. Here we have also provided some images using the quotes which you can share on social media. Now read the quotes and keep laughing and don’t forget to share with your friend to make them laugh.
There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that is lying about being milk.
Ron Swanson
Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. Zero stars.
RON SWANSON
I’d wish you the best of luck but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures.
RON SWANSON
I’m not interested in caring about people.
RON SWANSON
Child labor laws are ruining this country.
RON SWANSON
Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.
RON SWANSON
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons.
RON SWANSON
Famous Quotes & Sayings by Ron Swanson
There has never been a sadness that can’t been cured by breakfast food.
RON SWANSON
Put some alcohol in your mouth to block with words from coming out.
RON SWANSON
People are idiots, Leslie.
RON SWANSON
If any of you need anything at all, too bad. Deal with your problems yourselves, like adults.
RON SWANSON
Capitalism: God’s way of determining who is smart and who is poor.
RON SWANSON
There are three acceptable haircuts: high and tight, crew cut, buzz cut.
RON SWANSON
I call this turf ‘n’ turf. It’s a 16-ounce T-bone and a 24-ounce porterhouse. Also, whiskey and a cigar. I am going to consume all of this at the same time because I am a free American.
RON SWANSON
The key to burning an ex-wife effigy is to dip it in paraffin wax and then toss the flaming bottle of isopropyl alcohol from a safe distance. Do not stand too close when you light an ex-wife effigy.
RON SWANSON
Ron Swanson Funny Dialogues
There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger.
RON SWANSON
Great job, everyone. The reception will be held in each of our individual houses, alone.
RON SWANSON
On my deathbed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rush to my side so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time.
RON SWANSON
It’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain.
RON SWANSON
Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish…and feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard.
RON SWANSON
Straight down the middle. No hook, no spin, no fuss. Anything more and this becomes figure skating.
RON SWANSON
I was born ready. I’m Ron F***ing Swanson.
RON SWANSON
Normally, if given the choice between doing something and nothing, I’d choose to do nothing. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I’d work all night, if it meant nothing got done.
RON SWANSON
I’m a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women, and breakfast food.
RON SWANSON
America: The only country that matters. If you want to experience other ‘cultures,’ use an atlas or a ham radio.
RON SWANSON
It’s pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they can go outside and stand in it.
RON SWANSON
So you talked to Tammy? What’s it like to stare into the eye of Satan’s butthole?
RON SWANSON
Conclusion:
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